Plans Change...

You know how

sometimes

despite best of intentions

plans change

~ 

I certainly know that

shit happens

and 

I would like to think after this many years on the planet

I would be able to deal with the disappointment

~

But not yesterday

No sir

~

I was pissed off, frustrated and hurt

I stomped my feet like a little girl

and

I slammed around the house

talking to myself having long conversations of what I would 

LIKE to say

I know you have done this too

don't try and tell me you haven't because if you are a woman

it is encoded in your DNA

~

I tried to ignore the problem

but nothing worked

~

I had gotten myself in that awful 

self defeating loop of righteous indignation when one is convinced

they have been wronged

and

I have to say most of the day

sucked

~

Not because of what 'happened'

but because

 I 

made myself miserable rehashing it over and over again

~

But

while I was thrashing around in my misery

I made these

 Collage boxes to ship my little Valentine's treats 

From these shoe boxes

I know

its not anything AMAZING

but

It worked wonders to 

tear to shreds some old magazines I had laying around

and then force myself to do something 

creative 

rather than destructive with my energy

~

then I called a friend and went to the movie

The Vow

that was based on a true love story

~

and since it was based on a true story 

rather than the usual Hollywood fantasy

I walked out believing a little more in faith and fate and 

possibilities

~

I froze the tamale dinner in little lunch size packages

so I don't have to worry about meals for awhile

and 

went to bed reflecting on what really matters

rather than some unrealistic expectations some make believe Disney film

planted in my head when I was a kid