Sunday, February 12, 2012

Plans Change...

You know how
despite best of intentions
plans change
I certainly know that
shit happens
I would like to think after this many years on the planet
I would be able to deal with the disappointment
But not yesterday
No sir
I was pissed off, frustrated and hurt
I stomped my feet like a little girl
I slammed around the house
talking to myself having long conversations of what I would 
LIKE to say
I know you have done this too
don't try and tell me you haven't because if you are a woman
it is encoded in your DNA
I tried to ignore the problem
but nothing worked
I had gotten myself in that awful 
self defeating loop of righteous indignation when one is convinced
they have been wronged
I have to say most of the day
Not because of what 'happened'
but because
made myself miserable rehashing it over and over again
while I was thrashing around in my misery
I made these

 Collage boxes to ship my little Valentine's treats 

From these shoe boxes

I know
its not anything AMAZING
It worked wonders to 
tear to shreds some old magazines I had laying around
and then force myself to do something 
rather than destructive with my energy
then I called a friend and went to the movie
The Vow
that was based on a true love story
and since it was based on a true story 
rather than the usual Hollywood fantasy
I walked out believing a little more in faith and fate and 
I froze the tamale dinner in little lunch size packages
so I don't have to worry about meals for awhile
went to bed reflecting on what really matters
rather than some unrealistic expectations some make believe Disney film
planted in my head when I was a kid

1 comment:

  1. First, those boxes are pretty amazing, mostly because you managed to create them despite an ego-induced haze! It made me want to create one and I don't even have a reason...;) And yes, I've been there. My mind has a nasty habit of replaying the same scenerio over and over again, with different outcomes, mostly with me as the sharp and witty victor. I've spent several years consciously teaching myself not to do this, and yet still on occasion find myself falling into the old habits and patterns. They are so self-destructive, aren't they? I don't hurt anyone but myself. Anyway, I hope that today is a brighter day. :)